“I don’t want a baby. My songs are my babies”. Me and my disappointed girlfriend were having that “break-up talk“… Also money was low, so moving out was tough. Not the easiest, breeziest winter…
Also I was late to a coffee meeting with an important music biz guy. I knew he could change my whole career. So I had to slow my heart down. Stop thinking about the break-up talk from earlier, and chill… *inhale, exhale
When I got there he put down his coffee, shook my hand and said, “Go ahead and get a coffee. Then we’ll talk”. So I stood in line, replaying the break-up talk in my head until I heard the barista say “Sir, how may I help you?”
“I’ll take a single shot of espresso please”. My thinking was: *This tiny drink looks cultured, sophisticated, booji and successful… He’ll pay attention to my drink, right?*
I sat down and he started: “Hey man, how you doin?” I sipped my uppity drink and answered him straight: “My girlfriend wants a baby. I don’t”. He leaned forward…
“She’s right. You’ll like being a Dad, What I’m about to offer will help you pay for that baby”. The nerve…
But then he told me who he worked for… I can’t say who it is, but I can tell you it’s a social media platform…
*And if you’re reading this, you have an acct. with them.
He continued: “We need content. We’re making a music library and it can’t be cheesy. We need REAL music”.
Hiding my excitement, I sipped my tiny cup…
“I called you because I saw you rapping, singing and slapping’ da bass online- kinda spoken word hip-hop“.
The video he was talking about was ‘C’mon Baby Lets Fly’, a song I wrote for my dead friend Branden- who ten years ago left me a sad, lonely voicemail which I never returned- and a couple days later he jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge. I always thought I could’ve saved him if I’d just called him back.. But no, I ghosted him… *I killed him*
Suddenly I remembered I was in a meeting: “We need one song per week from you. For each song you’ll make ____”. Can’t say what he offered, but it was BAL-LER. Then he told me if I signed, they’d own my songs. 🤔
*So you want me to sell you my soul?
He reminded me of the money and said, “It’s worth a shot- just record three sample tracks. If it doesn’t work out, at least you got the first songs for your next record”.
I caved… Buzzing hard I said, “OK, I’m in”. I took one last sip from my wimpy, tiny cup and shook his hand 😬
For the next three months we emailed back and forth as he molded my sound to fit the job. I’ll never forget his email that finally said: “Brian, great job! You have definitely found your groove here. Now I feel like you have the material to proceed”…
I put down my phone, pumped my fist and said, “Thank you!” out loud. That was the first and last fist pump I ever did for that job– He never contacted me again…:(
My phone stopped ringing in general. That spring my oxidized 2002 Hyundai broke down and died. I had to move in with Mama and my diet became Popeye’s chicken and self-pity😳… I fuckin snapped: “NOPE!”
I started eating healthy, quit drinking for the summer, began meditating and wrote songs everyday. And it was great reconnecting with Mom while living at her house: I realized it was temporary, I treasured that time.🙏🏾
It felt great forgetting about the music biz for a sec to focus on HEALTH and songwriting. And guess what?
I lost 35 pounds, started recording one song per week for fun (not for money) and my phone started Blowing UP…
Offers to play high-end events, weddings, wineries and studio work came my way- Not glamorous work, but…
I bought a new ride, moved outta Mama’s into my own crib, and my girlfriend and I started cupcakin again…
Sure we still had our problems, but we were now talking and communicating like two adults, not two children…
Being ghosted by that music biz guy hurt my pride. But it got me real clear on why I do this and what I stand for:
1. Play for the love of it and to make people feel joy! 🙌🏾
2. Write 📝 Share 🎵 and Own my songs. ✅
3. Black entrepreneurship as a positive example to others
4. And basically slang my album outta the trunk- except it’s the internet now, not the trunk. So there’s no limit…
And that’s why I’m cutting any middle man who needs to own my rights, music, or even my soul. I didn’t write ‘Cmon Baby’ after Branden died just to hand it over to some dude I met once over six-dollar coffee and then get married to his soul-sucking contract. Nope✋🏾
I’d rather stay single and independent and play for YOU, the listener. You’re the boss. You are my record label. YOU get to decide what’s hot🔥. Not Big Brother❌.
This truly does involve – you:)
And you can check out my latest album, called ‘Single’, here . Really, thank you for listening! 🍻 -B
**PS – My girlfriend and I got back together but I had to respect her wishes. I had to give kids some serious thought- and maybe that music biz guy was actually right that I might like being a Dad… Will you please help me?
*TO THE PARENTS: If I go through with having this baby, any advice? It’d be dope if you could drop a quick comment below and just lemme know your thoughts?
*AND IF YOU DON’T HAVE KIDS: Are you happy and free, or do you feel like something’s missing?
Thanks for any replies, they really help!