So You Want Me To Sell U My Soul…

black and white brian sitting down pondering

“I don’t want kids. My songs are my babies”. My disappointed girlfriend and I was having that “break-up talk”. Also money was low, so moving out was tough… Not the easiest, breeziest winter.

I remember it was cold and sunny. I was parallel parking and yesterday’s “break-up” talk was on repeat in my head. And you know that deep breath in the car? Before a meeting that might change your whole life?  Lungs full, exhale~ I was getting coffee with a music industry boss who could change my life…

He was already there waiting. We shook hands and he said, “Go ahead and get a coffee. Then we’ll talk”. A single shot of espresso sounded good because only boujee, successful brothas sip on those, right? People pay attention to your drink, right?

“How you doin’?” I took a sip of my uppity drink and then answered him straight: “My girlfriend wants a baby. I don’t.” He leaned forward…

“She’s right. You’ll like being a Dad, you’re the perfect age for it. What I’m about to offer will help you pay for that baby.” The nerve of this dude… but then he told me who he worked for. I can’t directly say who it is, but it’s arguably the largest social media platform in the world – Basically if you’re reading this, you have an account with them.

“We need content. We’re making a music library. The music can’t be cheesy. We need REAL music. I called you because I saw a video of you rapping, singing, slappin’ the bass and you put it all together with a loop pedal and live drums. Kinda slam poetry, kinda spoken word, kinda rap, jazzy and funky. That’s what we want.”

I took another sip from my tiny cup.

“We need you to turn in one song per week. For each song you’ll make ______.” I can’t say how much, but it was BAL-LER.

My espresso, plus his offer, had me lit. But then he told me if I signed, they’d own my songs. Can you imagine not owning your own art?  So you want me to sell u my soul?

He reminded me of the money and said, “It’s worth a shot. Just record 3 sample tracks for me. Like a tryout. And if it doesn’t work out, at least you got some new material for your next record.”

3 long months later, his email came in…

“Brian, great job! You have definitely found your groove here. So with these 3 (new tracks) I feel like you have the material to proceed.” I put down my phone, looked up, put my hands together and said “thank you” out loud.

But then a week later he appeared at one of my shows. He came backstage and didn’t say much. He just put out his hand to shake. And honestly, it felt like making a deal with the devil.

A protective force-field of doubt came down myCaricature drawing with a framearm and went into our handshake. We both felt it. He took his hand away. I said “later”, and he just walked off. He didn’t contact me again.

I was deflated. But deep down I felt like something was protecting me from him… Fate was like, guiding me down the right path: which was away from this dude who wanted to buy my soul. But I still felt… like a failure.

Shortly after that, my old 2002, oxidized  Hyundai Santa Fe suddenly died. Gigs started slowing down, and I even had to move in with Mama. It was embarrassing. I kept hustling, but this was a low point. My diet was now Popeye’s chicken and self-pity. Something snapped: “THAT”S ENOUGH!”

I started eating healthier. I quit caffeine and alcohol for a while, and began daily meditation. This resulted in a 35-pound weight loss and people started asking me what I was doing. So I shared my story at meetings. And in truth, forgetting about the music biz for a sec. to help others, felt great.

Guess that good karma started coming back…

Cuz my phone started blowing up: Offers poured in to make music for TV shows, movies, high-end weddings and winnery gigs, studio musician work… I bought a new ride and moved outta Mama’s into my own crib.

To my surprise, my ex-girlfriend decided to put a hold on that baby… We started cupcakin’ again, but I had to respect that she eventually wanted kids. And even though I didn’t want kids (yet), I really wanted to give it some very serious thought.

Being dropped from that social media music job hurt my ego, but it helped me get real clear – I wanted to craft my own style. Own my own masters and publishing. Run my biz Right. Be independent. Be a Black business owner. And basically “slang my album outta the trunk” – except it’s the internet now, not the trunk, so there’s no limits…

And that means YOU, yes you are my label. You’re the boss. You decide if my tracks are hot. Not Big Brother. And you can listen to my latest album, called ‘Single’, by clicking here.

That big company ghosted me, but they set me free~ It’s like I’m single now lol

Therefore I took most my music off iTunes, Spotify and everywhere else that pays $0.001 per stream. I wanna honor Nipsey, Sam Cook, Jay-Z, Dr. Dre and James Brown and set my own standards. It’s the new music biz. Based on direct communication between artist and listener. And speaking of…

  • TO THE PARENTS:  If I go through with having this baby, any advice? It’d be dope if you could drop a quick comment below and lemme know what parenthood is like for you!?
  • AND IF YOU DON’T HAVE KIDS:  Is that by choice? Or do you feel like something’s missing?

Thank you! (I actually am trying to learn!)
I Apreciate it from the bottom of my heart, and from the ground up